The Simple 2 Step Process to Feel Better
You know how it is. The alarm goes off, you hit snooze and you either:
Fall back asleep immediately or
Lay in bed trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed.
Very few of us jump out of bed, energy blazing, full of optimism and excitement for the coming day. In truth most want to roll back over, thinking to themselves there isn’t any good reason to get out of bed anyway. Or the reasons are all obligations.
I can’t think of a single person I have ever met (including myself) that hasn’t wanted to feel great during the day. Everyone wants to be happy, feel joy, enjoy their day. And you know what? It isn’t complicated. It really really isn’t.
Today I’m going to share with you the stupid simple 2 step process for feeling better every single day.
I’m going to warn you - it really is stupidly simple. So don’t get angry with this. I know haters gonna hate but I’m telling you the truth - this is really all you need.
Ready? Ok - here we go.
Step 1: Be On-Purpose
What do I mean? I mean the first step is deciding you WANT to feel better. And I know that sounds silly. I mean who doesn’t want to feel better? But it’s actually really important. For example, maybe you are feeling angry about something at work that was legitimately unfair or unkind. Are you really ready to feel better yet?
What if your child comes home from school and was bullied? Do you really want to feel better right now? And this isn’t about what is or is not appropriate - it really is an honest to God personal decision. If you have suffered a loss and aren’t READY to feel better then that’s fine. It’s good even to know you aren’t there yet. YOU get to decide if and when you really want to feel better. And nothing will happen anyway no matter what comes into your life if you don’t make this decision.
This is something I have experienced personally and I know you have too. And you have for sure witnessed it with other people too. Have you ever told someone something hoping it would help them feel better and it didn’t? That’s cause they weren’t ready y’all. They didn’t choose it so it can’t happen.
You know the expression, you create happiness? This is EXACTLY what that means.
There are people that can experience something amazing and still find a problem with it that keeps them from enjoying the experience. And there are people that can walk away from something that wasn’t pleasant and they are able to maintain a sense of wellbeing.
This is because they decide how they want to feel. They don’t let the circumstances of their life dictate what they are going to feel or experience.
You can’t force happiness, but you can choose it.
Step 2: Do something
Full-on just chose anything you like and go do it. Don’t think - just execute. Remember, you can’t force happiness but you can choose it and when you do, anything can make you feel better.
If we spend more time engaged in activities we actually like it does make this a little easier. 😁
But the point here is that it doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. The point of this exercise is the decision part.
I’ve been upset and angry at a circumstance in my life, decided I didn’t want to spend the evening angry, and literally jumped up and down singing Disney Princess songs and felt like a million bucks. It’s in the choice.
I could give you a huge list of all the things you could do that are fun, or exciting, or that typically help people feel happy;
Listen to music
Paint a picture
Go for a walk in nature
Dude - whatever. Pick something and just decide you are going to have a good time.
I struggled with the best way to write this post because a lot of people make huge lists of things to do that will “bring joy to your life”.
I’m not going to knock them. Those ideas are really good and if you are just not able to think of anything fun to do with some free time then grab one and go down the list. But the real point of this post is for you to understand and consider is that it doesn’t matter what you are doing if you haven’t first decided you want to feel good doing it.
And besides; the things on my list might be totally different from what you enjoy doing. That doesn’t help you at all. What if you don’t like dancing like a crazy person through the grocery store to embarrass your teenager? (I do this).
Or maybe the music that is bringing you joy isn’t upbeat dance but a beautiful opera?
All of those things are subjective. The decision to enjoy your day is not.
Now the beauty of this amazingly simple plan is that it works equally well in the reverse. As an insightful friend pointed out, you can just as easily go do something and then decide to feel good about it. And in fact - if you do this often enough this will actually become the norm for you.
What I absolutely LOVE about this flip is that it illustrates how much power you have over how you feel.
Gotta go hang with in-laws you don’t REALLY get along with? Go hang and decide to make it a good time.
Need to spend some time doing math homework with your tween? Go grab the calculator and decide to make it a good time. (I know - this seems like a stretch LOL).
When we remember that happiness is a decision then we can find something of value in anything if we look hard enough. And it means we aren’t a victim in our lives. We take control over ourselves and how we think, which leads to how we feel, and ultimately act.
I won’t go so far as to say that this is always EASY. It may not be. And it might be something you don’t want to feel better about yet - totally fine. But it is super simple. It’s about as simple as it can get. And just like everything else, with practice, it does become easiER. Remember this is NOT toxic positivity (which I have spoken about before). If you aren’t feeling it don’t do it. It’s really healthy to not ALWAYS feel great.
It makes sense to be sad when you have experienced a significant loss. It makes sense to be angry when someone is deliberately hurting you. It’s even ok to just feel irritated because someone said something that was upsetting for you. It is ok to feel those things. You don’t want to NOT feel those things. But when you are ready you can shift.
And slowly you will come to see how often you really DON’T want to feel upset. This is when you stop being a victim and get back into control.
Honestly guys, the most illuminating thing about this process is how aware you become of how much you choose to not feel good. It’s amazing how often we regularly choose to be upset, angry, fearful, etc. It only feels easier because we have practiced it so much. It can be just as easy to make another choice.
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Go out there today and make it a great day guys!
Choose to feel good -